Jak Locke | Page

2024 May 17
Lawrence's Incredible Idea
fiction / comedy
short story (2,411 words)

Given enough time, eventually everybody gets one right

2017 February 01
The Junkyard Capital
fiction / satire / comedy
novel (49,793 words)
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"The Wind In The Willows meets Watergate."

Senator Aphid only wanted to improve his country, though after four years in the District of Laws he really should have known better. He's removed from office and soon grudgingly finds himself paired with Frog Dell, the reckless and self-indulgent hermit of the junkyard.

As the two evade the wrath of a government run amok with corruption, dissension spreads through the public, and conspiracy reigns. What role does psychiatrist and part-time inventor Weasel McKenzie play in the upcoming Archministry election? How does front-runner candidate and acclaimed playwright J. Thomas Capra plan to fix the broken nation? Who's being stalked by merciless bounty hunter Jack Dingo? Why is Dead Fish wandering an empty version of the world?

The pressure escalates quickly in this twisting, zany, fast-paced and subversive satire that, like real politics, requires (and prefers) absolutely no prior political knowledge.

Written by Jak Locke
Cover art by Bradley Medina
200 pages

2011 July 12
Paint!
comedy
11 pages

This will either be the stupidest thing you've ever seen or the most awesome. There's only one way to find out which.

2010 June 15
Lock Yourself Inside #4: Date
comedy
9 pages

Has our misanthropic insomniac finally found love? Don't count on it.

2010 May 06
Vista & Me: A Book For Reading
comedy
16 pages

A children's book about frustration and technology. NOTE: Please don't actually let children read this.

2010 April 07
Lock Yourself Inside #3: Brawl
comedy
13 pages

Farks tries to pull a fast one and the situation escalates quickly.

2006 June 20
Lock Yourself Inside #2: Screaming Mira
surreal
2 pages

Some neighbors can be so inconsiderate.

2006 June 13
Lock Yourself Inside #1: Jury Duty
comedy
1 page

The one-pager that started the series, actually drawn at jury duty.

2014 November 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: Jewel of the Gods
movie review

Noel and I briefly go into our very different experiences with this off-off-brand Raiders of the Lost Ark clone that has about as tenuous a link with The Gods Must Be Crazy as may be possible, though that didn't stop them from marketing it as some kind of tie-in.

2014 October 25
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: The Gods Must Be Crazy Part 5
movie review

This time N!xau learns Chinese and things go completely off the rails. Join me and Noel as we see how far a property can drift from its origins.

2014 October 19
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: The Gods Must Be Crazy Part 4
movie review

N!xau goes to urban China and here's where the series gets bad. Really, really bad. In a world full of terrible things, this movie's a terrible way to spend 90 minutes, so just spend a few minutes reading me and Noel's takes on why and thank us for the savings later.

2014 October 11
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: The Gods Must Be Crazy Part 3
movie review

In which the zany but otherwise reality-grounded series takes a hard right turn into hopping vampires and kung fu possessions. Wait, what? Noel and I will explain.

2014 April 12
The Super Saturday Short-Lived Showcase: Battletoads
game review

I guest for a few paragraphs about what worked and didn't work about Rare's Battletoads for NES before Noel and Tony go deep into the franchise's failed bids for cartoon and comic relevance.

2013 December 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: The Last Dragon
movie review

It's my pick again and I choose a movie that I only thought I remembered. Noel, Angie and I weigh in on expectations, delivery and The Glow.

2013 November 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: BMX Bandits
movie review

This month Noel picks another BMX-themed film, except this time it's from Australia and has a very different story to tell. Angie and I try to make sense of it.

2013 October 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: Freaked
movie review

Angie picks a maximum-90s movie that may break the meter for attempted jokes per minute. Does it land with me and Noel?

2013 September 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: Leonard Part 6
movie review

This month my pick was Leonard Part 6, and don't I wish it wasn't. Oh don't we all wish it wasn't. Woof.

2013 August 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: Rad
movie review

Noel's... oh, I mean Tony's pick for this month is a movie about competition and overcoming underdog odds, certainly untapped ground for an 80s film. Oh wait, this one's about BMX so that makes it totally different, right? Cue the montage and let's find out.

2013 July 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: Matango
movie review

This month's pick of Angie's is a Japanese film. It heavily features mushrooms, evokes both Gilligan's Island and Alien, and it ends with a nuclear explosion. One of those three statements is a lie, and it's not the one you probably think it is.

2013 June 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: Krull
movie review

There's 1/3 of a great film in my pick for this month, chosen completely off the mystique I remember from its Atari 2600 adaptation from when I was a small kid. We see how it stacks up to what I imagined it must be, as well as Noel and Angie's takes on this scifi fantasy mashup.

2013 May 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: Gunhed
movie review

I don't wish to spoil my take on this movie, Noel's pick for the month, so I'll just say that I loathed it. Oh, whoops. At least I didn't reveal that Angie hated it too. Read why we had such a bad time of it and what Noel saw in it.

2013 April 01
Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange: Guyver: Dark Hero
movie review

At some point while watching, I thought "You know, this doesn't look bad for an 80's flick." Later, I found out it was made in 1994. Oh. See what else Noel and I thought of Angie's pick for the month in my debut on The Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange.

started: 2020 August 09
The Cowboy
musician's website

In January 2019, Miles "The Cowboy" Spencer sang at an open mic night and got 9 seconds of applause. Since he didn't know the applause was for someone's birthday, this was all the sign he needed to finally start chasing his dream of being a country star. He signed up for a Facebook page and started posting about his journey to stardom. What followed was two years of tracking his unlikely journey -- against all odds he played a show, built a band, and recorded an album. But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. It's all told in his own words and videos at his website, now with 100% less Facebook. Saddle up and let's see where that trail took him.

started: 2013 November 04
Abrupt Analysis Arcade
game reviews

Started on Twitter, Abrupt Analysis Arcade is a collection of game reviews in 140 characters or less. This format forces me to get right to the point about what a game is and what I thought about it, especially since the game's title also figures into the 140 character count. Mostly indie and retro games will be covered here, since that's what I play the most of but you'll see some bigger recent titles here and there too.

started: 2012 September 04
Targeted
movie website

The Targeted project was a series of western short films shot by a crew largely consisting of first-timers to filmmaking with a focus on seeing how much could be accomplished with as small of a budget as possible. This website was the main source of updates, links and media during its production.

2006 April 29
Banjo
band website

The project that refuses to die, Banjo is a band that was formed to do one birthday show that just keeps existing for some reason. This is from its early days when it was still a live act, tons of pictures and poorly hidden pages to find if you can get past the cluster headache-inducing color scheme (no, I'm never changing it.)

2004 December 12
Retail Veteran's Day
non-event chronicle

A fun idea that turned into a waste of time for everyone involved, maybe even you.

2004 May 14
Realm of Impossibility shrine
video game atlas

I made this one weekend in 2004. It's got maps of every dungeon, monster stats, and trivia about various things in this game from 1984.

2001 - current
JakLocke.com Time Machine

When I retire a site design, I move the code of its Updates page to this junk drawer so you can see what it looked like at that time. Be warned: some of these, particularly the older ones, may not display nicely or even coherently on that fancy modern browser and device of yours. Even if they do, a lot of the links and images will be broken as there's little if any maintenance I do with these once they've been outmoded and archived. But if you're all in for a potentially janky trip to old news and what this site used to look like through the years, here's your off-ramp.